Not validating feelings

Many of the struggling marriages I’ve worked with have exhibited one or more of these negative behavior patterns.

Absolutely crucial, I believe, to the success of any marriage is for couples to minimize the occurrence these four negative behavior patterns from their relationships.

But what is an emotional connection in the first place?

We know them when we see them, but the truth is, many of us don’t experience true emotional connections all that often.

While the answers to that question are many and often complex, there is a growing body of research suggesting that there are four negative risk factors- four negative behavior patterns that create barriers in a marriage and increase a couple’s chances for marital failure.

In one key studiy, researchers followed a sample of 135 couples for twelve years, starting before they were married, and were able to differentiate those couples who do well from those who do not, with up to 91% accuracy.* My experience of working with thousands of couples over the past seventeen years is definitely congruent with these findings.

It is a succinct breakdown of important definitions and myths surrounding our social-emotional needs.

At the outset, the Wife may feel deep anxiety at her Husband’s proposal to buy a new car, and the Husband may feel frustration that he is meeting resistance from his Wife.If you're unable to bring a healthy sense of self-love into them you will always be seeking validation and end up disappointed by your expectations of others.” ― Nanette Mathews tags: compassion, endurance, external, friends, friendship, happiness, hardship, heaviness, help, hope, inspirational, internal-validation, joy, life, life-lessons, love, loyalty, motivational, persistence, personal-development, poetry, presence, sad, self-love, teaching, unconditional, validation, wisdom “The most powerful and courageous heroes I know are those who bite their tongues when justification, validation, temptation, or vengeance would have them strike with truthful, hurtful words.” ― Richelle E.Goodrich, “Some time ago, my son Emilio was going back to school after vacation.But there are times when that most precious love is revoked, and a hard scab forms over the empty hole.Though this scab is both healing and protective, it is the reason why validation from future love may not seep in so easily, no matter how wanting the heart.” ― Richelle E.

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We can try to set up the right circumstances (say a coffee date with a friend), but there are still no guarantees.

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