Dating a much shorter man
She is one of my clients who has never dated a short man, and she has no intention to ever date one.She insists, “I’m just not attracted to them.” Alexis is a smart woman, and she is also a nice person, even though her attitudes about short men are actually pretty patronizing and dismissive. contestant and hair salon manager Cheryl certainly would. Should you, for example, rule someone out based on something as elementary as their height?For chrissakes, I'm talking about , Amy Webb's memoir about online dating, she confesses she felt she needed a man who was at least five-ten.(Webb is five-six, making that requirement just one inch shy of the eight-percent average.) "I wanted someone to overpower me, who could wrap his entire body around me in a hug, but who could also throw me down on a bed and ravish me," she writes.The message many women send short men goes something like this: Yeah, sorry, but nothing you could say or do could ever give you a chance with me. For those of you who insist that you’re not attracted to short men, you should, at least, try to have a good reason why you’re not.Men and women both fall prey to the (remarkably persistent) myth that sexual attraction works on auto-pilot, as if we are all preprogrammed to be attracted to the ones who captivate our attention. The type of person you’re attracted to depends largely on your beliefs. My client, Alexis, comes from the most machismo family I can imagine, full of firefighters, Marines, and gobs of Old Spice. In Alexis’ family, she was the only daughter and the men in her family were brawny and tough.
Single people sign up for a half-dozen dating sites and apps in order to widen their pool, yet most won't break the height taboo. Men should date women who are taller than they are, and women should date shorter men.
All this time, she’d told herself that she didn’t like short men because she simply wasn’t sexually attracted to them; in fact, the real reason she wasn’t attracted to short men was because she had a fixed image in her mind of what a man should look and act like as a result of her upbringing, and she needed the men she seeks out romantically to fit the same exact image of the men in her family. I spend more hours than you’d believe trying to help men and women change the type of person to whom they’re sexually attracted. The first step is to dig deep and ask yourself what in your history makes you attracted to a certain type, as well as what in your history repels you from a certain type.
In my work with women, I’ve found that there are two basic reasons why most women won’t date a short man: Some women will feel nervous about being too big, telling themselves they’ll look smaller if they’re with a bigger guy; others simply want the knight in shining armor, and they need a man to live up to a fantasy image of masculinity and size, telling themselves that a bigger man is also automatically emotionally stronger, too.
Yup, classic stories about that involves heightism. Some people won’t mind if it’s chocolate or vanilla. Some just look out for personality first instead of looks. If you get rejected by women who are taller than you, please know that it’s not YOU. You’re simply not their type, maybe it’s your personality, perhaps it’s your height. As I shared earlier, the taller girl I dated loved my personality. There is a feeling of protection that I get from a taller man, real or imagined. I stopped forcing myself to go out with men because it’s the politically correct thing to do. I had opened myself up to this man that turned out to be perfect even though on the outside, being so short, it didn’t seem like he would have been my type. I could wax on for pages about how wonderful he is to me and how much I enjoy having him in my life.
Before we begin: Here are a couple of fun facts about my previous dating life. We dated because she thought I was confident and funny. Okay, that may not be the best analogy, I’m sure you understand where I’m coming. Some just look out for personality first, instead of looks. Once, I attempted to date a shorter man, who was 5’6″ on a good day. Because I was at a time in my life where I thought that I could not be so shallow as to date a man, or not, simply because of his height. First, I want to say that it took me a while to overcome the height issue even though I continued dating him and several other men until I settled on him.